Recently I made a very deliberate effort to limit my time on facebook. Even though I thought I had already done a lot to filter my newsfeed, I was finding myself feeling disheartened, anxious, sad, or discouraged much of the time after being on it. I also knew that it was taking up portions of time that I could be using in much healthier ways.
At first, it was difficult. I was used to filling free time, waiting time, and times of boredom with scrolling. But, each day got easier and easier. I found a peacefulness and even joy return. I spent that time focusing on affirmations and positive thoughts. I spent that time going for a walk or reading. I spent that time praying or journaling. I found myself remembering and focusing on all the good in my life that is already there. It felt so good.
Now, I am experimenting with spending a little more time there, because there are also things I missed about facebook. I really enjoy feeling connected to people. I miss positive and inspirational posts. But, I don’t want to allow it to take up so much of my time again. So, I will keep checking in with myself about this.
All I know is that at this stage of my life, I choose to do more of what brings me joy and less of what sucks the joy out of life.
This is so true. When I think about the challenges I have faced, this has been true. There is that initial stage when it feels insurmountable. During this stage, I remember feeling like I wouldn’t survive it. I remember when I first discovered my husband was having an affair. I remember being curled into a ball on the bathroom floor, sobbing into a towel so the kids wouldn’t hear.I remember begging God to get me through whatever was coming because of the kids.
Eventually, it got easier. I accepted the reality that my life was forever changed. I adjusted to the decisions I had to make. I leaned on my support system. I kept living. I tried to be the best mom I could be. I chose to remember who I was. I tried to find joy again. It got easier.
And eventually, the freedom came. I began to see clearly that I had been given a gift. I began to see my marriage for what it was, and my ex-husband for who he was. I began to see the white washed version I had created to cope with him and the marriage. I took off the rose colored glasses and looked at him with no lens to obscure the view.
That’s when I felt the freedom! I had been set free from twenty years of being stuck in survival mode. I was allowed to be me again. Sweet freedom came.
When I face ongoing challenges now…I try to remember this. I try to remember to hang on through that first part when change is hard. And then I try to remember that it gets easier. And then I try to remember that freedom comes. Because I have learned that it always does when I am being true to myself. Not everyone will understand the choices we need to make to be true to ourselves. But, the freedom will come. It always does.
This brought me joy today.
I choose to celebrate me, to honor myself, and to recognize all I have overcome and accomplished.
It is good to celebrate ourselves and honor ourselves. It is an act of self compassion and self love. And, if there is one thing I have learned, it is that the most loving thing I can do for my loved ones is to love myself first. I can’t give from an empty vessel.
I really have come through some tough times. The tough times haven’t ended. There are new challenges and old ones resurfacing. But, I am strong and I overcome.
So….cheers to me! I encourage you to raise a glass or a mug to yourself today as well. Cheers to you!