Mother’s Day Roller Coaster

Mother’s day.  There were some real highs.  I won a fabulous gift package for my mom and it felt so good to bless her with that. My extended family was able to get together for lunch and enjoy each other’s company.  The guys took the initiative and my guy was able to be there. Two of my three kids came as well. Those were all very good things. 

There were lows. One of my kids chose not to come. He said he was job hunting but later also said he feels he can’t be himself with my family.  I think they are pretty accepting and they really love him. But, that’s how he feels.  And, apparently how he feels is more important than attending something important to me on mother’s day.  None of my kids gave me even so much as a card. I received a verbal “happy mother’s day ” from each of them at some point in the day. But, that was it. No one made any extra effort at home or to do anything for me. I have all three home with me and am supporting them and it’s a lot for me on every level.

To receive no appreciation yesterday tipped me over the edge. The younger two that were home got an earful. I let them know exactly how much that hurt and also how much I have been worrying about them both. In the end, they both apologized.  My daughter ran out to the store and got one of the few remaining cards and a few gifts.  She wrote some beautiful things in the card. They both told me they will work on some changes. We will see. My boyfriend called my oldest son and apparently my son responded very well. He apparently felt terrible about forgetting to acknowledge mother’s day.  Later that night he made a beautiful facebook post.

I realize my kids are at a very self absorbed age. But, enough is enough.  My patience finally came to an end.  I haven’t felt that hurt and disappointed in a long time.

I know there is a lesson for me in this. I have been tolerating too much for too long, as I tend to do. We all needed it to come to the surface and be addressed. 

I still struggle with why and how my kids seem to be more “screwed up” than any other children of divorce I know.  And the discouragement I feel about that just takes me down sometimes. But, I guess I just need to focus on the good and hang on to hope.

The good is that all three responded in a positive way to being told how I felt. The good is that I do know they love me. The good us that my boyfriend was so quick to step in in a fatherly role with support and firmness. The good is that I finally reached a limit which has facilitated change.

I am exhausted today. I hope I can maintain the changes.


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