It’s Who I Am

image

My journey of self discovery has included a program called Dressing Your Truth. It is an energy profiling system that resonates with me and has helped me more than anything else I have ever found to understand and love myself. The above is part of the description of Type 2 energy….the soft, subtle energy type.  It is me in every way. This has always been my nature.

All of my life, I have been criticized for….and beaten myself up for….not taking a stand, not speaking up. There are times when I should do so and have trouble. I am working on this.

But, I am finding a new freedom in embracing and understanding something about myself.  On any given subject…unless it is a completely morally reprehensible one…. I can see, understand and even FEEL where people are coming from on various sides of an issue. I speak to someone who is firmly on one side….and I can meet them there. Then, I speak to someone on the opposite side, and am able to equally meet them there.

In the past, I would beat myself up terribly about this. I would think there was something wrong with me. I would judge myself with words like “weak”.

I am starting to understand that we type 2 people are often called on to bring our gift of being peacemakers and mediators. It is an important gift that is needed.

The difficulty is that sometimes someone I love will feel hurt or betrayed that I didn’t take a stand with them. I am hoping to get better at communicating to my loved ones what it is like for me.

If I take a stand with someone, it is against someone else whom I also love. I hear and feel both. I love both.

What I DO take a stand on is love. But, for me that means loving both.

When I feel pressured to stand against a loved one,  I  literally feel sick. Sometimes I get sick. It goes against my nature so strongly that it manifests in my body through pain, digestive issues, anxiety, etc.

It has taken me so long to understand this about myself. I now need to find ways to be able to communicate it when feeling pressured. Writing about it here is the first step towards that for me.

Wow. …just expressing that feels like it released a huge weight off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe. I hope I can find ways to live my truth moving forward.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s