I have been thinking about our tendency as humans to do this…to allow our happiness to depend on someone else. Why is that? Why do we feel that we can’t be happy unless we find that one perfect person to love us? And then if we think we have, our happiness tanks when they inevitably hurt us, as they will.
The truth is, we do need people. We do need relationships. And most people find life more fulfilling with a partner. But, we cannot allow our happiness to depend on that. Even if we do manage to find someone compatible, emotionally healthy, with relationship skills, and the chemistry is mutual….that person is human. That person could leave, get sick, die, or change in significant ways. That person will go through hard times and not be there for us or experience changes in life that affect them deeply. There are so many unknowns in this world.
So, what is the answer? It is to find happiness for yourself first. Take care of yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. Take care of your health. Do what makes your heart sing. Do what makes your spirituality grow. Love yourself. Embrace all of you….the struggles and challenges, and the strengths and beauty within you.
If you are blessed to have someone come or stay alongside you to love you too….what a wonderful bonus! But please….don’t let your happiness depend on that person. Enjoy the moments and times of love. They are blessings. And in the other times, there is still so much happiness to be found.