I used to hide when I was overwhelmed or afraid. The truth is, sometimes I still do. The way I hide is to put on the armor of perfect appearances. You don’t have to be vulnerable if everyone thinks you are doing great and your world is perfectly in order. And, if you are not vulnerable, you won’t get hurt. Right?
Wow, did it ever take me a long time to figure that out.
Sure, maybe others don’t challenge you, criticize you or attack you when you’ve got that armor on. And, even if they do, you pretend you don’t care any way.
But, you also don’t experience the joy of true intimacy. You don’t know the exquisitely deep, satisfying knowing that comes when your heart is truly connected to another’s.
You are left with a gnawing dissatisfaction, a hollow emptiness that you don’t even understand.
Then, you want to fill that with something. …work, accolades, hobbies, addictions, distactions, relationships…
None of that works.
We are meant to be filled with love.
First, divine love….the only love that is truly unconditional.
Then, by the vulnerable, painful, and exquisitely joyful love of honoring the self we were created to be and the others that we have been blessed with in our lives.
Take those first trembling steps towards that kind of love.
Engage in spiritual practices that honor divine love.
Engage in practices of self care and self compassion.
Engage in practices of compassion for others.
Reach out to those in your life who are gifts to you. Thank them. Do something for them. Hug them. Kiss them. Tell them how amazing they are.