Aha Moment

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I have been really down today.

I was trying to figure out why and was coming to some conclusions that I knew didn’t sit right with me.

I  just went for a walk, and that’s when it dawned on me.

Tomorrow would have been my 25th wedding anniversary.

Ouch.

Even though it has been years now, and I don’t miss him or the marriage anymore ….there is sadness.  The sadness is about the loss of the dream. I always thought there would be a wonderful 25th anniversary celebration.  I am Facebook friends with two other couples who got married the same year.  I  remember attending their weddings.  They are still together and seem happy. I  have watched their posts about the celebrations they have been having. I think the sadness has been building for a few weeks as I have been watching this.

It’s all part of the healing process.  I know I did what I needed to do for myself and my kids.  I have no regrets about that. But, the grieving goes on, in layers, year after year.

At least I  can make sense of the heavy heart I was feeling.  Just that realization helps me breathe a little easier. And it is preventing me from letting that emotion come out towards someone or something else when that’s not where it belongs.

One more hurdle to jump over. Keep breathing and moving forward. As always, it will be okay.

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5 thoughts on “Aha Moment

  1. I hear you. I would of been celebrating the silver in 2 years. Attended my friends 30th not so long ago. For me it’s the end of a fair take but with no happy ending. All I had ever wanted was what I read In the books of once upon a time. Alas life is not the fairy tale. Not when a big bad witch still lurks. My fairytale will be in my inner peace and my childtens and loved ones happiness. I’m sorry for your grief. It will be okay.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am sorry today is one of those life disappointments that has caused you some down days, and understandably so. But I think you should still celebrate today, Lisa, just in a different way. You should celebrate YOU……….because through this painful journey, just look at who you have become! You are such an amazing woman, you are so kind and you are so focussed on rising above all the negative, turning your pain into something so positive. Celebrate YOU, Lisa! Your positive energy truly is uplifting and something worth celebrating.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you my friend! I will do that today. I appreciate your feedback so much… it is incredibly healing for me to hear that others see the growth in me! That encourages me more than you know. Thank you so much! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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