You’re Not Going to Die

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If someone would have told me seven or eight years ago that I would go through everything I have been through the past few years, I would have been horrified. I would have thought I would not be able to make it through all of that.

I could not have imagined my marriage ending, not to mention the manner in which it ended. I could not have imagined seeing my kids struggle with coming to terms with their new reality. I could not have imagined the financial devastation that followed in the wake of the divorce.  I could not have imagined the turmoil of realizing that what I thought was the solid ground I built every single detail of my life upon was actually shifting and sinking sand instead.

But, here is what else I could never have imagined.

I could never have imagined meeting a group of strangers online when I was too devastated and humiliated to tell a soul in my “real” life what was happening. I could never have imagined that a handful of them would become part of my “real” life and some of the most amazing and inspiring and dearest friends I could ever hope to meet. I could never have imagined that when I got brave enough to open up to people in my “real” life that I would experience unwavering love, support,  encouragement and practical help. I never imagined that I would find my faith strengthened and expanded.  I never imagined that I would remember who I truly am and learn to like myself again. I never imagined that my relationships with my kids would grow deeper and stronger every day.  I  never imagined that I would experience solutions to every challenge including absolute miracles to my financial situation.  I never imagined that I would meet a man who has taught me to love and accept myself just as I am,  and has taught me to receive love and respect and honor that I have never known.

No, I  didn’t die.

I survived. And, I  thrived!

It is so much easier for me now to not let fear rule my emotions.  I faced some of the things I used to fear. I got through it. On the other side, I am happier than I have ever been in my life.

So now, when fear or anxiety wants to creep in….I remind myself , “Look what you have been through, and you didn’t die. You can do this!”

Yes, I  can.

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